Why Raising Your Voice Won’t Get You Heard

So this week, I’ve been one stressed out mama! It’s been such a long and tiring week in my household, like without a doubt more than usual. I’ve been cleaning things that don’t seem to be staying clean (that includes my children), saving various things from getting broken (oh, and this also goes for my children), and just generally trying to collect myself enough to find even an ounce of inner peace. I am TIRED emotionally, I’m drained physically, and I feel like I had to raise my voice way too much.

I don’t want to have another week like the one I just had, and I definitely don’t want to get caught up being the mom who yells. Of course I hate when the energy level that my littles have for the day is completely over the top, and even more so when I feel like I’m not being heard, it would bother anyone. After calmly repeating myself over and over again, “Don’t do that.” “Don’t touch that.” “Don’t lick that.” And one of my favorites, “Sit down before you get hurt.” I started to get really frustrated with not being heard. I started to get frustrated that no one seemed to care about keeping all of their limbs intact. I for sure started to get frustrated that I had to save my lamps from hitting the floor, more than once! After a million and one times of calmly trying to get my point across, I started to raise my voice.

Have you ever started to raise your voice, and then you start to feel like you’re always raising your voice? My mindset started to feel completely off. I started to actually give myself a headache between the kids and their noise, and the noise from the sound of my own voice, and eventually everything started to irritate me. Yelling is good for NO ONE. While my frustration was obviously valid (in the beginning), I don’t feel that raising my voice was the correct move.

See, the thing about having to raise your voice is, at the moment it might get someone’s attention, but it tends to also silence your message. It’s important to me that my kids understand why I’m getting upset, rather than just realizing that mommy is upset. Sometimes it really takes getting down on their level and speaking to them in ways that they’ll actually understand. Not just yelling, and have them pay attention enough to say, “Woah, mom is yelling.” I want them to really hear me enough to see that, “Woah, Mom is upset that I’m trying to jump off of the end table. Maybe I should stop that.”

I don’t want to walk into this week how things were before. I want to walk into it positively, and with the mindset that I won’t be raising my voice. As hard as it gets, I deserve to stay in the positive headspace, and my family deserves a mom who isn’t frustrated and yelling.

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